by Jamie Gandy

My heart is lost in the abyss May 11, 2017, 2:24:33 PM

Peace Daniel Gandy - August 25th 2001 - May 6th 2017 (6:58pm)

Saturday night my Prince, my Guardian Angel, my Danny-san left this earth to spend the rest of eternity in Heaven.

On the thirteenth of April Peace had a blood clot that was due to his heart murmer. The clot went to his rear and he became pryalized because of it. When I first brought him in the Vet gave him less than a 30% of him surviving.

Peace was a fighter though, and because of his strong determination to live we shared three more beautiful weeks together. Though he couldn't walk on his hind paws he didn't allow it to stop him. He dragged himself all over his room. The Vets were amazed at his spirit, and at how well he was improving. Aside from losing weight.

Saturday morning before work everything was fine. He ate his breakfast, drank his water. When I got home around fourish he had taken a turn for the worse. He could barely lift his head and I could tell from the look in his eyes and his barely audible meow that he was too tired to fight anymore. I laid down next to him, wrapped my arms around him and begun to cry. My mom and brother took my nieces and nephew out to a pizza place but I stayed behind. Once they left I carried Peace onto the bed and I cried as I talked to him.

I thanked him for loving me these last fifteen years and ten months. I thanked him for always watching over me, and always lending his fluffy white chest to rest my head into and for soaking in my tears. He would give me the most loving kisses to my cheeks and forehead. I thanked him for being loyal, kind, loving, supportive to and of me. I thanked him for always fighting so hard for me. I told him he didn't have to fight any longer for me. He could rest and find true Peace in Jesus' arms. He did both his father and grandpa proud for loving me with such unconditional devotion, the way his grandfather (Angel) taught his father (Hope) and the way Hope taught Peace. Their legacy of love shaped me into who I am today.

I stared into his glazing eyes, telling him over and over and over again how very much I love him. That I wouldn't leave him, that I would stay by his side no matter what. I prayed to God that He would show mercy on Peace, that he wouldn't suffer, that he wouldn't have to fight any longer. That Peace would be rewarded for his life well lived. I begged. I asked that my dad would be able to be with him again.

Finally his heart started to give out...he had a small heart attack (I believe ) while in my arms. I clung to him, my arm wrapped around him, with my hand pressed to his chest. With each convulsion I begged God to make it quick... I begged Him not to let my boy suffer... I finally started crying in tongues (something I haven't done since my dad's death) for five or so minutes, Peace ceased one more time before God painted a magnificent image in my head. Of my dad in Heaven with Hope, Angel and Faith (his grandma) and in their midst was Jesus with Peace in His arms.

New tears flooded and i knew he had passed. My best friend... the one soul who could read and understood me the best had drawn his last breath.

After a while I pulled away long enough to look at his face, to make sure he wasn't still breathing. As I did I saw the widest smile on his face. To the end he knew his mama loved him with every beat of my heart. He knew that I would have done anything to fight alongside him. But as we promised each other a couple of weeks ago. That the moment he decided he couldn't do it anymore all he had to do was tell me. Saturday night he told me.

And I praise God that I was there with him during the whole thing.

After my dad died my heart shattered, now all those shattered fragments are nearly all lost to the emptiness. This pain....this is so indescribable. ..

Same as with my dad. I wouldn't trade away this pain for anything. Because my dad and Peace loved me with an unconditional, selfless kind of love that very few ever see.

Peace was a handsome orange and white tabby tom, born as a single kit in mother's litter. Before his eyes were even open, his mom would hide him in a crowded closet full of boxes. All I had to do was call his name and that tiny, blind kitten would wiggle his way out of his hiding spot straight to my voice.

Our bond. Like the bond of his father and I, went beyond human understanding. No we did not both speak the same language, but our hearts always did.

Again my life has been forever torn, but I thank God for every day with my Danny boy.

I love you Peace, with everything I am.

Love on papa for me.